


and, fuck, it is so hard, being so damn far

by unsaved_misc



Category: SuperMega Show, Video Blogging RPF, supermega
Genre: Angst/Comfort, Begging, Daddy Kink sort of?, Emotional Talks, Loneliness, M/M, Smut, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, hug time, matt cries a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaved_misc/pseuds/unsaved_misc
Summary: he spoke through his actions: clambering onto ryan’s lap while he was editing, stroking ryan’s hair or beard while recording, leaving him some ibuprofen and water when it was a long work day.
Relationships: Ryan Magee/Matt Watson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	and, fuck, it is so hard, being so damn far

**Author's Note:**

> hi this kind of sucks but i hope u like it :))

matt practically leaped onto his bed like an excited schoolgirl, hoping the box spring didn’t collapse as he set his packet of cookies and tea on the nightstand. it was 2 am and he couldn’t sleep, somehow fueled with energy after his messed up resting schedule, and ryan seemed to feel the same way. matt reached out first, hands shaky as he asked if ryan was awake. thankfully, he was, and they decided to call each other over skype on matt’s computer. he sat crosslegged, adjusting himself in front of the camera and fixing up his hair, hoping he looked good enough. 

he hadn’t really been taking care of his facial hair or put much thought into what he was wearing, but he still wanted to look cute for ryan. he missed him, so fucking much, it was almost killing him. he knew they were recording again next week and he’d finally be able to hug him again, but it felt like it was taking forever. he heard a familiar sound and ryan finally appeared on screen, looking scruffy and smiley. matt couldn’t help but smile back.  
“hey, ryan!” he exclaimed, holding tightly onto his knees.  
“hi, matt.” he paused. “fuck, i missed you.”  
“i miss you too. so much.” matt felt his eyes start to water but he ignored it, sniffing.  
“you been watching that marathon i gave you?”  
“mm hm. and more. thank god jackson and harrison each have a movie collection the size of my room.”

“that’s good. it’s good you’re keeping yourself busy. i was worried about you.” ryan bit the side of his lip, chocolate brown eyes staring up into matt’s. matt couldn’t help but admire them.  
“me?”  
“mm hm.”  
“i’m okay, ry. you don’t have to worry. i can text you all the time and i’ve got the tucker brothers here with me.” he stopped for a beat. “but you’re alone.”  
ryan shrugged.  
“it’s okay. you know me, i’m introverted. and i, too, have a giant film collection.”  
matt snorted.  
“okay.” he traced his finger over the seam of his adidas sweatpants. “i really, really miss you ry.”

ryan’s eyes ran over matt’s face, taking it in.  
“i really miss you too.”  
“i can’t wait for recording. that way i can finally just...” he held back from what he actually wanted to say. “just see you.”  
“‘that all?” ryan asked, and matt perked up, blinking. ryan was staring at him, and matt immediately felt smaller under his gaze.  
“um...n-no.”  
“what else?”  
“just...hugging you. being close to you. kissing you.” matt was surprised he even admitted it. even though they were in a relationship, matt still felt shy when he talked about being romantic with ryan. he spoke through his actions: clambering onto ryan’s lap while he was editing, stroking ryan’s hair or beard while recording, leaving him some ibuprofen and water when it was a long work day.

he said ‘i love you’ a lot, and ryan often left ‘xoxo’ after telling matt he’d be picking him up. they held hands almost all the time. however, romantic words were hard for the both of them to convey. but, after the lack of seeing each other, matt didn’t feel like hiding how he felt to maintain some sort of masculinity.  
“and other stuff.” he mumbled out, chewing his lip. he was hoping ryan would get the memo.  
“tell me.” it felt like an order, and matt felt his cheeks heat up.  
“oh. um.” he looked at his hands. “you know what i mean.”  
“could you clarify for me?” there was something snarky in ryan’s voice and matt was liking it a little too much.  
“touching me.” matt’s voice was timid, even a bit whiny. 

“where?” a question that also felt like an order.  
“my...my um...” he couldn’t think of a clever response, covering his hands with his sleeves.  
“answer me, matt. i can’t touch you if i don’t know where.” he cocked his head, eyes feeling like they were penetrating matt’s soul. he shivered.  
“my leg.” his hand moved further up his thigh, trembling.  
“mm. dirty.”  
matt stifled a whine, turning away.  
“but i know that’s not all you want, is it, matt?” he asked, and matt felt his cock twitch.  
“mm mm.” matt pursed his lips.

“what else would you want, matt?”  
“touch my thigh.”  
“and?”  
“my dick.”  
ryan smirked.  
“god, you sound like such a slut right now.”  
“ryan...” matt whined, biting on his sweater sleeve and moving his hand toward his inner thigh. he was desperate to touch himself but he stopped, resting near his dick.  
“you’re probably so horny. wishing i was there touching you, making you feel good.” ryan’s voice was low, deep, and matt could imagine it in his ear while he was being pushed into the pillows, wrists over his head.

“mm hm.”  
“you don’t just want me touching your dick, huh? you want me fucking you hard into the bed like a fucking whore. you want me to break you.” ryan seemed to be getting carried away with what he was saying, but matt didn’t mind. he covered his mouth, knowing jackson and harrison were asleep in their bedrooms and he couldn’t be too loud. they knew matt and ryan were dating, but it would still be weird if they woke up to matt moaning in the next room.  
“r-ry, i want it so bad,” matt mumbled, fingers twitching. and like ryan could read his mind, he asked, “you touching yourself yet?”  
“no, sir.” matt couldn’t help calling him that. “can i? please?”  
“mm hm.”

matt reached for his waistband but stopped.  
“what’s wrong?” ryan asked, ready to slow things down if matt was uncomfortable.  
“nothing! i just...i have another idea.” he smirked, and ryan nodded for him to go ahead, intrigued. matt set the macbook on the end of the bed, completely forgetting the snacks on his nightstand, and grabbed two pillows. he made sure his torso was in view of the camera, and slowly slid his sweatpants down his waist and hips.  
“keep going.” ryan grunted. matt nodded, shucking them off and throwing them onto the floor. he paused.  
“boxers, sir?” he asked shyly. ryan shook his head, and matt slid them down as well. he heard ryan’s breath hitch when he saw his dick, and he grinned.

“you’re that hard already, hm?” ryan asked, and matt swore he could hear ryan sliding his hand beneath his boxers. matt nodded, adjusting so he was holding onto the first pillow and his hips were on the second.  
“can you see me?”  
“mm hm.”  
matt started rocking his hips into the pillow, slow, whimpering into the bed at the contact.  
“god, you look amazing.” ryan said under his breath, sounds of him stroking himself coming through the microphone. matt blushed at the comment, turning his head so he could see the screen.  
“s-say more, ryan.” matt whined, blue eyes locking onto the other man’s brown ones. ryan nodded, not bothering to ask him to say “please.”  
“seeing you like that just makes me want to fuck you even more.” ryan’s eyes trailed him as he moved his hips back and forth. “wish i was there on top of you. telling you who you belong to.”

he paused.  
“who do you belong to, matt?” he asked, and matt stifled a moan.  
“you, sir.” he mumbled out, increasing his speed, drooling at the feeling of his hips grinding the pillow.  
“you look so pathetic and submissive riding your pillow like that.” ryan’s breath hitched again, letting out a gasp. “you wanna ride my cock like that too?”  
“mm hm.” matt hid his face in the other pillow, gasping, the idea of being caught far from his mind. his hands grasped tight on the pillow, waves of pleasure running through his veins at each thrust. he could only imagine how this would feel with ryan present, and it made him look forward to the next time they’d see each other even more. he glanced back at the screen, watching the way ryan watched him, how his teeth grazed his lower lip and he’d let a noise slip every few minutes. knowing he could make ryan sound like that, make those expressions, filled matt with a tiny spark of pride.

“are you close, sir?” matt asked, biting his sweater sleeve, feeling his stomach starting to burn and his thighs start to shake. ryan nodded.  
“a little. how about you?”  
“a lot.” matt hid his face again, rutting his hips into the pillow as desperately as he could, muffled moans escaping him.  
“slow down. i don’t want you to cum yet.” ryan ordered, matt whimpering in protest but doing what he was told. he felt like his skin was on fire, like his body was about to explode, hips twitching to go faster again. he admired ryan’s face instead, the way his lips were parted and how his hair was messy and unkept. their eyes met and ryan didn’t look away, biting his bottom lip and stroking faster than before.

“can i now?” matt asked, wiping the drool from the side of his lips. ryan shook his head.  
“not yet.”  
“please, ryan, i’m aching...”  
“just a little longer.”  
matt hid his face again, fingers yanking on his own hair, listening to the sounds of ryan’s breathing. after another moment of unspoken words between the two, he could hear ryan’s breath picking up.  
“you can cum.” he ordered, and matt obliged. his hips picked up speed again, and he only lasted about two seconds before he was cumming. he bit into the pillow, muffling the moans and curses he wanted so badly to let go, drowning out the world around him as white hot pleasure soared through his skin. he could hear ryan cursing beside him, saying “fuck” over and over as he finished too.

it took matt a few minutes to finally relax, his hips stilling and his fingers uncurling from the pillow. he sighed, eyes fluttering closed as he was suddenly desperate for sleep. he heard some shuffling and realized ryan was there (sort of), and turned to look at the screen.  
“you look fucked.” ryan said, though not in a derogatory way. matt glanced at himself in the upper right-hand corner. his lips were wet and his cheeks were red, blue eyes lidded and hair messy. he wiped at his face again, smiling as his head flopped against the pillow.  
“you look pretty, ry.” he said softly. ryan didn’t look as messed up as matt did, but his hair was fluffy and all matt wanted to do was stroke it while kissing him. 

ryan smiled, shrugging.  
“maybe.” he paused, blinking. “i know i keep saying it but i can’t wait to see you. not just cause of...this. i just want to be next to you, matt. it’s weird not seeing you all the time. i’m just so used to having you with me that i feel...not lonely, but more like i don’t know what to do with myself.” he wasn’t looking at matt, and matt was secretly grateful because his eyes had teared up again and he hurriedly wiped at them.  
“i understand that.” matt’s voice was smaller than he expected it to come out. “i have jackson and harry here but...i still miss you so much. i just want to hold onto you, and smell what you smell like, and talk about dumb shit and laugh with you. fuck. i miss your laugh.”  
matt wasn’t even limiting what he said at this point, too sleepy to care.  
“this sounds so dumb, but sometimes, i watch videos of you just so i can hear you laughing. it’s stupid because it’s not the same as the real thing, hearing it in person, but being away from you is fucking frustrating.” 

matt felt himself sniffling, face hot, and scrubbed his cheeks with his sleeve. ryan was looking this time.  
“hey...matt, we’ll see each other next week, it’s okay.” he assured. matt nodded, though he wished ryan was here comforting him instead. the warm press of his hand on his back, feeling ryan’s lips against his own briefly before pulling away to smile and laugh. matt pursed his lips, tasting saltwater tears in his mouth.  
“you’ll be okay?” ryan asked him, dark eyes urgent. matt blinked, eyes burning.  
“i...i don’t know, ry. i think so.” he swallowed down the lump of tears in his throat, feeling hot and tired and drained. 

“ryan?”  
his voice was tender, small, and ryan was staring at him with bated breath.  
“yeah?”  
“can you come here?” he felt so stupid, cum drying on his pillow, asking to see ryan like a forbidden lover, knowing that what he was asking was stupid. but ryan didn’t scoff at him. he just nodded, and matt felt tears surge again.

-

his hands were trembling as he stood on his porch, the cool night air slipping through his sweater and his sweatpants. he felt needy but he pushed down his guilt, picking at his nails and nervously chewing on his lip. he watched as a few cars rolled by, the streets empty of people, lights flickering with a fluorescent buzz. matt felt nervous, like ryan might not show, either due to matt’s request being stupid or just some reason that wouldn’t be disclosed, but he stood and waited anyway. he was beginning to wonder if he should just go inside, checking his phone for the billionth time, when the familiar car pulled up next to the apartment building. matt swallowed, shoving his hands into his pockets to hide the fact that they were shaking.

he listened to the car shut off, the door open and slam, and watched as ryan climbed the steps to the apartment. their eyes met, and matt felt himself on the verge of crying for what seemed like the millionth time that day. he was surprised when ryan went straight to him first, hugging him tightly. matt felt that familiar warmth around him and melted into it, closing his eyes and holding onto ryan as tightly as he could. he smelled just like matt remembered. a part of him felt stupid for getting this emotional after 2 weeks of separation, like he was unable to handle it and he was too attached, but he felt ryan’s hand go into his hair and his thoughts had quieted. ryan wasn’t saying anything.  
“ryan?” matt asked, benevolence in his quiet voice. ryan didn’t reply but matt felt his fingers grasp tighter and his shoulders start to shake. ryan must’ve been lonelier than he’d said he was.

“you can stay with me tonight, ry. it’s okay.” matt whispered, closing his eyes and burying his face in ryan’s neck. ryan still didn’t speak but he nodded, shoulders relaxing without him even knowing they were tensed in the first place. matt wanted to offer to go inside, the cold air starting to chill his fingertips, but he kissed ryan’s neck and stayed quiet with him instead. 

they would go inside when he was ready.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry if this took a turn u didn’t like or if the writing was a bit off, id been working on this for a bit and couldn’t put my thoughts into words in certain parts, the ending was also a struggle :’) if u did enjoy, please leave feedback and ill try to better my work in the future!


End file.
